Alex Valdivia Testimony

“Growing up in the secular world, the message is pretty much use birth control or have babies. Except that the message implies that babies are a ‘financial burden,’ so you’d better be married with a solid career and own a house before you have kids. This message limited me to being open to life because it was the mindset I’d been conditioned to believe until I found my way to the Church. My journey to the Church began when I met my husband. Together we decided to practice the sympto-thermal method of NFP, however, this decision did not come easily.

I grew up to the tune of ‘NFP doesn’t work, you just get pregnant.’ My family fell away from the Church shortly after my First Communion, so when I was prescribed birth control for acne as a teenager, I never thought twice about it. Given all this, I felt very hesitant when we began our marriage preparation and the topic of NFP came up. I did not initially know that taking birth control when you are married and sexually active was a sin. Everyone I knew was on it. I took the online NFP class for the sympto-thermal method through the Couple-to-Couple League, but I was not very open to it. How could I give up that kind of control over my body? After talking about NFP in one of our meetings with the priest, I thought, ‘Maybe we should try it…’ But I quickly rationalized that we were not ready for kids, so it must be a terrible idea. I went in circles like this for a few months. All the while, I prayed to God to show me the way. As I started to shyly have conversations with a few people, I began to research NFP and was surprised by what I found. On top of several books, I felt like I read everything on the internet I could find: couples’ testimonies, efficacy rates, and the effects of hormonal birth control on our bodies. I learned so much that I never knew! Such as birth control can increase the chance of getting certain forms of cancer (even though my doctor assured me it was safe), is an abortifacient (you can conceive, but the embryo will not implant), there are lower divorce rates among couples who chose not to use birth control, and so much more!

Giving up control to God can be terrifying, especially if you’ve ignored Him for most of your life. It was hard for me to accept the Church’s teachings on this, but after everything I learned, birth control just didn’t feel like a viable option anymore. The Holy Spirit had transformed my heart. By meeting other young couples living out NFP who could answer all my questions I felt more confidence that I could do it, too. My first chart felt like such an ‘a-ha’ moment! I could actually see my body working as it should and in the perfect way that God has made me.

NFP has given me a lot. It has helped me realize that stress, diet, and sleep can all affect my cycle. I feel good knowing that I am not interfering with nature, nor harming the environment anymore – which is something that I greatly value in other areas of my life. It also brings me great peace to know I can live free of that constant sin. Our marriage is stronger, and we are now open to life! And it’s not that NFP is magic pixie dust, but when you work through the trials that come with being new to the practice, you are reminded of the sacrificial love that IS marriage. You can also grow in your faith together as you learn to rely more on God’s graces.

If you are thinking about switching to NFP, I highly recommend that you look for community to help guide you through it. I am extremely grateful to our priest for pushing us to take a leap of faith, to the friends we met that have helped us hang in there during the hard times, to the teachers that answered my (many) messages, and for all the prayers we have received. It can be hard to do this alone because it seems to go against what many of us were raised to believe. There are lots of accounts on Instagram and Facebook that share great NFP content, but don’t forget that your parish priest could also direct you to people that are happy to support you. If you switch to NFP, you will not be alone!” – Alex Valdivia